Treats not tricks

This year was the first year that I had trick or treaters come to my house for Halloween.  I’m very happy that I was ready for them with two candy classics, Reese’s peanut butter cups and Snickers.

As I was handing out candy to a group of youngsters, one little boy after seeing what candy I had in the bowl immediately yells out “Snickers please.”  I quickly thought to myself, “Wow he’s bold.  Why can’t he just be happy with what I give him?”  But then later I realized this little boy had it right.  He was asking for what he wanted rather than waiting and hoping that I would give him what he wanted.  He asked for what he wanted.  What a novel concept!

As kids many of us had that boldness as well.  We knew what we wanted and we said it.  As we get older, many of us have focused more on being polite, not wanting to come off aggressive, wanting to be considerate of others.  While doing this, we often end up taking what is handed to us (and not always liking it).  And you can say what you want without being impolite, aggressive or inconsiderate.

So why not ask for what you want?  The worst that someone can say is no, right?  And what if they don’t say no?  You would get what you want!  That certainly isn’t a bad thing.  When the little boy asked for a Snickers, I gave him a Snickers.  He left happy.  And I’m left thinking I need to say what I want more often.

If I want treats, I need to say I want a treat, rather than just hoping I’ll get one instead of a trick.

Pull me up

When you have people in your life, it is very likely that your lives may not always be in sync.  You might be up with many things going well, while things could be chaos and confusion in their life.  They could be strong in one area, and you might be weak.  They could be tired and you could be full of energy.

While it may seem that you want everyone to be in sync at the same time, it certainly does come in handy at times when this isn’t the case.  When I am down, I don’t need someone to wallow with me, I need someone who is in a good place to help lift me up.  If I am having trouble or am not very good at something, I would like one of my friends who is better at it than me to help do it and get better. If I am tired and fizzling out in getting something important done, I need a loved one to help pick up the slack so we can still get there.

I need you.  You need me.  We need each other.  If we are both up, great.  If I’m up and you are down, I’m gonna help you get up.  No matter the situation, let’s help each other grow.

Stay connected

Stay connected to those that you love and care about.  Sometimes it requires a lot of effort, but it is certainly worth it to give those in your circle your quality time.  Whether you spend time talking, laughing, supporting, or encouraging, the people in your life often make life a little sweeter.

Life is short.  While it is important to strive to achieve you dreams, at the end of the day you will be remembered most for the impact you had on other people.  Stay connected to those you love, and make sure your impact is a positive one (rather than forgettable).

After all, when you do achieve your dreams wouldn’t it be nice to have some loved ones standing there with you cheering you on?  Stay connected.

Little wins

I’ve never considered myself one who did very well at standing firm when I get push back and resistance from others.  I’m not proud about it, but there have been times when I tried to stand my ground on something, someone disagreed with me hard and I folded.  Ugh.

But yesterday I had a win!  Yesterday I stood my ground with someone over an issue during a conference call.  He pushed back, I stood my ground.  He pushed back again a little harder, and I dug my heels in and stood my ground.  And that’s when it happened.  He retreated!  Yay!  He saw that I wasn’t going to budge on my position, and eventually I think he even saw my point of view.  Even better.

It may not have been as eloquent as I would have liked, but I’m choosing to focus on the progress that I made yesterday.  It was a little win, but one that made me smile, and one that I can build upon.

Yesterday, I faced something that normally gives me a little anxiety.  It certainly wasn’t easy when I was going through it.  But I faced it, and came out successful on the other end.  I proved to myself that I can do it!  You can too!  Go face something today that you normally run away from.  Even if it is a little win, it certainly leads to bigger ones.

A conversation for today

Today is going to be a great day.

Today is going to be a great day.

Today is going to be a great day.

I am going to be brilliant.

I am going to be brilliant.

I am going to be brilliant.

It will all get done.

It will all get done.

It will all get done.

Sometimes you need a little kick-start to the day.  When its dark and dreary, and you have a lot to do, and all you want to do is stay in bed, sometimes you need to do a little extra to get yourself going.  Sometimes you need to have a different conversation with yourself to get ready to take on the world.  I know I needed to today (its going to be a loooooong day and its dark, dreary, and rainy out).  Today is going to be a great day.

Enjoying the journey

I used to be in a hurry to get to the next achievement.  When will I graduate?  When will I get married?  When will I get this job?  When will I get this promotion?  When will I have children?  When will I get a house?  When will I whatever?  I wanted to get to these milestones in my life but quick.  I would often hear people say “its not about the destination, its about the journey,” and roll my eyes.  I wanted to get where I wanted to go as quickly as possible.  The scenic route did not appeal to me.

But lately, I’ve realized that things take longer than I thought.  Life doesn’t always happen in the timeframe that I want or expect it to.  While I am still focused on my destination, I am starting to take notice of the journey too.  When before I was only focused on the end goal, taking note of what is happening along the way has allowed me to appreciate everything that it took to get to my destination.  It has allowed me to be  more aware of the growth that has to happen and is happening as I get to my destination.  It has allowed me to be patient.  It has allowed me to broaden my horizons.    It has allow learn from others.  It has allowed me to be better.

So the journey isn’t so bad after all (although I still often wish it wouldn’t take so long).  I’m learning to embrace it and enjoy it.  I am still pressing forward to get to my destination.  But now I think I’ll enjoy it all the more when I get there because I’ll remember the journey.

Brother’s keeper

We are our brother’s keeper.  We are supposed to look out for our loved ones.  Help them see the danger ahead.  Help them see the error in their ways.  We are supposed to call them on their stuff.  We are supposed to love them.  We are supposed to look out for them.  We are supposed to help them.  We are our brother’s keeper.  Let’s stay on our job.  But let us do this job in love.

Back to the real stuff

Last night, the Phillies post season ended and for the second time this week I went to bed annoyed at their loss.  I know I’m not the only one.  There are millions of fans everywhere cheering for their favorite teams to win, and bothered when they lose.  This is the way of sports and being true fans.

But as I woke up this morning, I realized its time to get back to the real stuff.  There is nothing I could have done to cause the Phillies to win.  There is nothing I can do to make the Eagles win.  I am completely at the mercy of those players on the field (and possibly the impact the fans in the stadium have).  I don’t have control over the situation.  I’ve invested a great amount of time, energy, and emotions over something in which I have no influence on the outcome.

So now its time to get back to the real stuff.  I’m not saying that I’m not a fan anymore, because I still am.  It’s just time that I refocus my time and energy back on the things that are important, and in which I can effect the outcome.  Relationships, work, exercise,  household maintenance, making a difference in someone else’s life.  This is the real stuff.  This is the stuff of life.  This is the stuff we can all impact.  Let’s get to it.

Oasis

My home is my oasis.  I love it.  I enjoy it.  I spend time in it.  I spend money on it.  It’s where all my stuff is.  It’s where I lay my head down.  It’s where I get ready to face the world.  It’s where I call home.  My home is my oasis.  I have to take care of it.

Recently, the mortgage and economic crisis has caused many people to lose value in their homes, and to even lose their homes to foreclosure.  For a lot of people, a home has become a headache and a source of pain.  Its been anything but an oasis.

No matter what your home situation is like (financial or otherwise) find a source of oasis there.  Be it the whole house, a room, a blanket, or a candle.  Find something in your home that makes you smile.  So much time is spent at home, there should be something there that you like, or can lift your spirits.  Find that source of oasis, cherish it, and take good care of it.  Its worth it.

Yesterday was a good day

Yesterday I had a good day.  I felt in control.  I got a lot accomplished.  I felt stronger.  I felt wiser.  Yesterday I had a good day.

Today is a brand new day.  But the memories I had about yesterday are not gone.  I don’t want to dwell on them, I want to duplicate them.  I want to have a good day today.  I will be in control.  I will get a lot accomplished.  I will be stronger.  I will be wiser.  I will have a good day.

I don’t know what about me was different yesterday, but if I make up in my mind now to be those things today,  I have a better chance of it happening than if I just hope for the best.

Today is going to be a good day.  Decide to make it a good one for you too.