How much are your bags costing you?  Over the weekend I was in Washington DC where I noticed that merchants charge for bags.  This was a law enacted by the local government to discourage use of bags that are bad for the environment.

While a bag in DC only costs five cents, fees for bags can add up.  Others are charging for bags too.  Take an airplane ride for instance.  Baggage fees can cost anywhere from $15 to $50, for the first one and the costs go up for each additional bag (and don’t even try bringing on a really heavy bag – then you’re really going to pay!).  These costs and fees are tangible.  We can easily count them and see the impact on our pockets.  Because we can see the impact of the bags on our pockets, we are able to make a decision about whether or not it is worth it to carry bags with us.  But what is the baggage that you carry around in your life costing you?

It is an interesting concept of charging for something to discourage use.  I wondered if that would work for the baggage we carry around in our lives.  Most people have some kind of baggage.  And while we probably don’t have to pay an actual fee for the baggage, there are certainly costs associated with carrying them.  If you knew how much your baggage was costing you, do you think that would discourage you from carrying it around?  Do you even know what your baggage is costing you?

Is it costing you from moving forward?

Is it costing you from being happy?

Is it costing you good relationships with others?

I imagine that it costs a whole lot more than any physical bag ever could.  So why not let go of the baggage in your life?  Not only will you have a lighter load, but you’ll lose a whole lot less in the process.  That sounds like a winning proposition to me.

He said this, but is that what he really meant?

She did that, so I think she feels this way.

We did this, so even though we talked about that, I really think this is what is going on.

This happened, then that happened, then he said this, then I said that.  What does all this mean?

It means that I get lost in analyzation (I’m pretty sure I just made that word up!).  You know term “something got lost in translation,” right?  Well, too often I get lost in analyzation.  Instead of just focusing on the right now, and the reality of what was said or done, I spend waaaaaay too much time trying to analyze the situation.  Unfortunately, I don’t think the constant analyzation has helped me much.   So it is time to make a change.

I’m not the only one who does this.  I’m sure of it (I actually know people who get more lost in analyzation than me)!  I was thinking earlier that maybe the reason that I analyze everything is because as a Marketer, a big part of my job is to analyze the behavior of customers and trends in the market.  But then I realized, that I was analyzing my behavior, and that is only further proving my issue, not necessarily helping it.  Sigh.

So from here on out, I will stop getting lost in analyzation!  The key is to only analyze a situation when it is appropriate (like at work), and not to get lost in it.  Sometimes a situation is very straight forward and simple.  No analysis required.  There may be times when I won’t have all the answers and I won’t understand what is happening.  When this happens, I will have to learn to be ok with that, and just let the situation play itself out (you know, while more data comes in).  And while I’m waiting for the situation to play itself out, I will limit the number of assumptions that I make.  I think I get in trouble there too.

This will be uncharted territory for me.  But I am hopeful, that if I stop getting lost in analyzation (which is bad), that maybe, just maybe I’ll get lost in something else something really good (no analyzation required!).

BTW:  if you see me getting lost, please help me get back on the right path.  Thank you!

Having a conversation with another person is an art.  I say it is an art because although most of us talk to someone at least once a day, good conversations are becoming scarce.

Good conversations can be remembered for years.

Good conversations can change the course of your life.

Good conversations help you develop deeper bonds with others.

Good conversations help you learn and expand your horizons beyond what you know now.

Good conversations are just good.

Its easy to not have good conversations.  We’re busy.  There seems to be little time.  We’ve got a ton of things going on in our minds.  We’ve embraced many different ways to communicate with others that don’t lend themselves to conversation.  But I am convinced that the fewer conversations we have, the less enriched and connected we become.

I have been guilty of not engaging in many a conversation in my day.  But lately, I’ve been having more (and I desire to have even more) good conversations with others.  Here are a few things that I’ve learned about how to have a good one:

Listen – Seems like such a simple thing to do, but it doesn’t happen as often as it should.  Really listen to what the other person is saying, without running off all of the possibilities in your mind, without thinking about what you are going to say next, without doing anything else.  Just listen.

Ask questions – A good friend of mine told me that only interested people ask questions.  If you aren’t interested in what the other person has to say, the conversation won’t be meaningful at all.

Be present – Multi-tasking is a sure fire way to ruin a conversation.

Be open – Have you ever had a conversation with someone who was closed to any other opinion than their own?  Those don’t tend to go very well, or last very long.  Besides, you get more surprises when you are open.

Be patient -  Sometimes it takes a while to express yourself, and to explore what needs to be explored.

What would you add to this list?

Let’s go tackle the art of conversation.  Together, we can make it a little less scarce, and enrich our lives in the process.

Choose me to be on your team.

Choose me to fall in love with.

Choose me to be your friend.

Choose me to get the promotion.

Choose me to go on that trip.

Choose me!

Choose me!

Choose me!

When you choose yourself, it won’t be as important if other people choose you or not.  Choosing yourself isn’t about being selfish at all. It’s about being comfortable enough with you that you don’t need someone else to “choose” you for you to feel good about yourself.  And if you find that even you wouldn’t choose you, then maybe its time to work on being someone that you would.

The other day I sat in the chairs where guests sit in my office.  I was appalled at what I saw.  While I sit behind my desk looking at them, they are in the chairs on the other side looking at my mess.  Now I knew I had a lot of stuff on my desk (hey – I work hard!), but it took on a whole new life when I realized what other people have to look at when they are in my office!

We go through life looking at others and looking at situations from our point of view.  Sometimes it is necessary to take a look at yourself and your own situation the way others see you.  Examining yourself the way others see you is an eye opening experience.  Hopefully when you take that look, you will like what you see.  If not, its time to get your house in order.  Now, I suppose I need to go get my desk together.