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People make the world go ’round

February 3, 2013 By Leave a Comment

“Wow God, You’re really doing a number on me!”  It was the day before I was to return home, and I had just arrived in Beijing.  It was there, as I rode in the back of the cab on the way to my hotel that I found myself crying once again, as I had another revelation.  I was closing out a phenomenal month of travel, on what has thus far been the best trip of my life.

 

Here are a few highlights of what I was blessed to do (pics are up on my FB page):

  • I went on safari at Maasai Mara and saw a lion, and lots of other beautiful creatures
  • I hiked the Great Wall of China
  • I saw the beauty of the Taj Mahal
  • I connected with Gandhi and cried my heart out at his memorial museum
  • I rode a matatu in Nairobi
  • I went to The Bund in Shanghai (but didn’t get to howl at the moon)

Initially, when I set off on this journey, my intention was to go and add lots of value.  It all started with the volunteer trip to teach entrepreneurship at a girls school in Kenya.  Once that part of the trip was confirmed, I added in the other countries in the hopes of seeing how people live in other parts of the world, and maybe even offering up my services from a business standpoint in the process.

 

But God had other plans in mind.  Even though I did do some teaching and made some business connections, the biggest impact that was made on this trip wasn’t me imparting my “wisdom” on others.  Ha!  It was the impact that other people had on me.  Imagine that.  I saw the beauty of God’s creation, and I saw the glorious things God allowed man to do that are regarded as Wonders of the World.  But with all of that, I must say the absolute best parts of my trip, the times that I will remember and cherish the most, were those special, seemingly uneventful moments when there were no cameras around.  It was in time spent with friends old and new.

 

In China, two of my favorite moments came in the streets of Shanghai with one of my best friends.  As we
kicked off the celebration to bring in the New Year we sat in a park and someone had a Stevie Wonder song playing in the background that I began to sing along to.  Later, as we made the long walk to meet the group we were hanging out with that night, we quizzed each other on U.S. state capitals, and Canadian provinces (he’s Canadian).  Those unguarded moments when we’re just being silly and shooting the breeze are always special, especially with a dear friend with whom I often have philosophical conversations that regularly contribute to my personal growth.

 

In Nairobi, with my new friend of only a day, it was walking down the streets of the city on the way to what became my new hangout spot, as I learned and felt Nairobi as a local rather than a tourist.  This laid the foundation for an awesome next couple of days where I met even more wonderful people in his circle that became my own “Nairobi crew.”  We all spent hours together, and it felt like we had known each other for years rather than less than a week.

 

 

In India, my most cherished moments were with my girlfriends (BRCS!) during our talks in the hotel
rooms.  As we talked, we were completely honest and transparent about our feelings on our dreams, our careers, about some of the men in our lives.  Whether it was in just listening, the endless laughs, keeping it real with each other, or in helping to find practical solutions and action plans that will help get us to what we desire, this was where the magic was.

 

The time spent with wonderful people wasn’t just limited to my close friends.  It extended beyond to various other people I got to spend time with along the way, whether it was:

 

  • Shooting the breeze in a coffee shop with some very cool Canadians who are teaching in China
  • Crying together (I had lots of tears on this trip!) while singing the school song to the WISER girls with my big-hearted fellow volunteers as we said goodbye to the students
  • Hanging out with a very cool gal from Mumbai who showed us the city, and introduced me to one of the best meals of my life

 

Why is all this significant?  Because I’ve always considered myself a loner.  I’m an introvert.  I love my quiet time, and enjoy my own company.  And over the past few years, I’ve been fully embracing my independence by doing things that I want to do on my own (travel to Paris, concerts, triathlon) when other people weren’t able or available to go with me.  There have been a number of other major milestones in my life that I’ve gone through and achieved independently:  buying a car, buying a house, selling a house, and starting a business.  Being who I am, I suppose that these were all things that I needed to do and experience on my own.  Not sure why, maybe it was to prove to myself that I could do all that by myself.  And while I’ve enjoyed my independence, I realized while in the back of that cab, that doing everything “on my own” isn’t necessarily what I need (or want) to do anymore as I move forward.

 

What started this?  I arrived in the Beijing airport, and there was no one there to pick me up.  I knew there wasn’t going to be anyone there, and I was gonna have to jump in a cab.  In fact, there have been many, many times when I’ve arrived in a city and there was no one to pick me up at the airport.  That’s actually the norm.  But, this time, the feeling of getting to a new city and walking through the arrivals terminal knowing there was no one waiting hit me in a different way.  Hence, why I found myself crying a river in that cab a few minutes later.  I realized why I felt differently, as I thought about all the great times I had over the past few weeks with such wonderful people.

 

People make the world go ‘round.  I’ve always known that.  But I learned it especially on this trip.  People make my world go ‘round.  My family.  My friends.  Strangers who become friends.  People who I spend a few moments with.  People I see, but don’t get the chance to speak to.  People I never met, but read or heard about their stories.  We aren’t in this world alone.  No matter where you are, or what you’re going through, people have a wonderful impact on your life.  And people have had a wonderful impact on mine.

 

Independence is great, but it can only get you so far and fulfill you so much.  The best times in our lives, the most impactful moments in our lives, the biggest lessons in our lives, tend to come with and through other people.

 

So to all the people who were a part of this epic journey:  thank you for helping to make my world go ‘round.  And thank you for helping me learn this lesson, as I walk into a new chapter in life.  There’s more time to be spent, more memories to make, more places to go, and bigger things to do.  Hopefully, lot’s of that will be done with you, and with people like you.

Filed Under: Extraordinary Life, Make a difference, The Real YOu Tagged With: , ,

This is a man’s world?

January 29, 2013 By 1 Comment

It was day 3 in India, and we had just passed a group of school age girls at the Bahai Temple in New Delhi.  As the girls walked by and waved to us with glee, my friends and I had a moment.  “These are the future engineers, doctors, and scientists!,” my friend exclaimed.  As I fought back tears, I thought about the futures of these young girls.  They were so full of life, and with their whole lives ahead of them, there seemed to be so much promise for them.

Schoolgirls at Bahai Temple in New Delhi

Schoolgirls at Bahai Temple in New Delhi

 

Normally, I’m not in the habit of crying when I see young school girls, however, after having spent a few days in a country that felt like it was dominated by men, it was refreshing to see these girls and to be able to imagine all the wonderful things they could do and become in their lives.

 

If this is a man’s world, it appeared that no one had yet told these girls.  And I hope no one ever does.

 

I was raised to be independent, and to believe that nothing is impossible to me.  And the fact that I am a woman, has never in any way (to my knowledge) prevented me from doing anything I wanted to do.

 

If this is a man’s world, then nobody ever told me that.  I live my life in a way that reflects that it can’t be a man’s world, because for me, it’s Sonia’s world.  And in my world, there are no limits.

 

As I’ve been traveling over the past few weeks, I noticed that my reality of a limitless world doesn’t necessarily seem like it exists for all women.  Not because it isn’t their God-given gift, just as it is for me and every person.  But because of history, culture, and tradition.  Based upon what I’ve seen in some other countries, it would seem that it really is a man’s world, and it has been that way for a long time.

 

There were many instances during my travels in India where I noticed that there appeared to be very few women around.  On the metro, in the streets, in the hotels, in the restaurants, everywhere we went women seemed to be few and far to between.  Where are all the women, I wondered? In New Delhi, I found some.  While taking the metro, my friends and I happened upon the “women only” car.  Given the stares that we had been receiving throughout the day from the men, it felt great to be on it.  It felt relaxed, comfortable, and safe.  And then as I was enjoying a few moments of relaxation in being in this “safe space” among only women on the train, I then got troubled.  Why is there a need for a women’s only car?  Why doesn’t that feeling of being relaxed, comfortable, and safe exist on a car that is co-ed?  Was it because we were in a man’s world?

 

With students at WISER school

With students at WISER school

In Kenya, I had the joy of teaching entrepreneurship at WISER , an all girls secondary boarding school in Muhuru Bay.  The mission of WISER is to “improve the educational, economic, and health outcomes for girls;  create gender allies in boys; and promote community-wide enhancements in health and development.”  Spending time with the girls was wonderful, and had me on such a high.  But the reality is, this all girls school is necessary because there are gender inequalities in the community.  Not just in Muhuru Bay, but in many places.  Before going to WISER, many of these girls were growing up “in a man’s world,” and their lives would likely be very different had they not been admitted.  But now, with the education that they are receiving, along with the exposure and opportunities it will undoubtedly bring them, they are recognizing that they don’t just live in a man’s world.  It’s their world too.  One that is filled with possibility.

 

I think what has been troubling me so much about the notion of seeing, experiencing, and reading about these instances of what it feels like to live in a “man’s world” is that other people seem to be making choices for women, rather than allowing these capable beings to make choices about their lives for themselves.  Whether its what women wear, how they sit, when to go to school, what their role is to be in the household, what career they can have, how much they will make, how they can sit on a motorcycle, what is proper behavior becoming of a woman, whatever it is, it seems someone has an opinion, and in some unfortunate circumstances, those opinions are actually enforced in local laws and customs.

 

I would like to note a few things.  I am not so naive as to believe that gender equality fully exists in the U.S. or other Western countries.  As it stands today in the U.S., there is still a significant gap in the pay between men and women for the same jobs, there are still many more men in higher level positions than women, and not even a year ago, there was major debate in the country about women’s reproductive rights and birth control.  There is definitely progress to be made in the West.

 

The second point I’d like to note is that I’m not anti-male.  I’m a big fan of men!  I’ve never really been a girls girl, and I actually do have a traditional view of male and female roles.  For instance, whenever I do find myself myself married, I fully envision my husband to be the head of our household, and I intend to respect him as such.  But therein lies the whole crux of this issue for me.  I’ll recognize my husband as the head of our household because I’ll choose to, not because someone or some tradition told me I had to.

 

I have the same feelings about traditions and laws.  I’m all for tradition, and cultural norms when they are followed as a matter of choice, rather than a matter of obligation, or a rule that was made by someone many many years ago, or by people who in most instances doesn’t even know the people they are making rules about.

 

In my mind (again, in Sonia’s world), the goal would be for all of us, men and women to live together

Wisdom from Gandhi

Wisdom from Gandhi

fully embracing who we are, striving to be our best selves, and encouraging each other to do the same.  In doing this, there wouldn’t be any need for any one of us to put any type of limits, or restrictions on another person.  In this, my ideal world, it isn’t about eliminating the notion of gender with the goal of making us all equals.  Men and women are different.  We were created that way for a reason, designed to work together to be complementary one to another.  One isn’t better than the other.  We’re just different.  I’d like to think that when we operate together, fully embracing the individuals that we each are and allowing each other to fit into our own personal ideals of manhood and womanhood without limits, then we’ll find that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

 

This isn’t a man’s world.  It isn’t a woman’s world.  It’s our world.  It belongs to all of us.  And together, we can make it a world that is worthy for all of us to live in merrily.

Filed Under: Extraordinary Life, Make a difference, Self love, The Real YOu Tagged With: , , ,

300 rupees

January 21, 2013 By 2 Comments

On my second day in India, my friends and I piled in the back of Anil’s touk touk. He drove us around and waited for us as we made different stops.  I had met him the day before as I explored New Delhi on my own, and was glad to connect with him again to have him help get us around in the city.  He was kind, he was sweet, and he was patient.  After spending about 4 hours with us, longer than any of us intended (a couple of things took way longer than we anticipated!), I asked Anil how much we owed him.  I could tell he didn’t want to give me a figure, and eventually he replied “whatever you want to give.”

 

In the back of the touk took

In the back of the touk took

As Anil dropped us off at the train station, we handed him 300 rupees.  Wanting to make sure that we did right by him, we watched as Anil counted the money, and took note that he was quite pleased with what he had just received.  Of note, 300 rupees is the equivalent of $5.58 in US dollars (USD).  For four hours of work, I just saw someone elated to receive less than six dollars.  The annual per capita income in India is $1219 USD.  Based upon that, it is possible that Anil had just earned a bit more than a full day’s wages.

 

Since then, I’ve spent quite a bit of time pondering that scene, as well as much of what I have observed over the past few weeks, as I’ve been traveling.  It’s been hard for me to wrap my head around some of the things I’ve seen, heard, and learned, but one thing is very clear to me.  I have lived a blessed life.  There is no doubt about it.  I have no reason to complain.

 

Stones for chairs in this primary school classroom

Stones for chairs in this primary school classroom

During the course of the past few weeks, I’ve seen and met too many people who consider indoor plumbing, a bed to sleep on, three meals a day, and electricity luxuries.  I’m floored when I think of the number of people with whom I’ve come in contact with that don’t have access to clean water.  I visited a school where the children had to sit on rocks for chairs.  I’ve seen tent cities, children who look no older than five years old hard at work selling items in the streets, children begging, seen families living in the streets, heard stories about millions of people living in the slums not too far from where I was, and seen numerous people living in the midst of streets filled with trash.  Poverty is real.  These aren’t isolated incidents.  When I look at the statistics about income around the world, I suppose the data bears out what I’m seeing.  The median income worldwide is $840 USD a year.  3 billion people in the world live on less than $2 USD per day.

 

Poverty is real.  Poverty is prevalent.  Poverty is heartbreaking.  And for many living in poverty, its through no fault or choice on their own.  They wound up living that way based upon where and when they were born, or perhaps because of the choices and policies that were put in place by others who didn’t know or even care much about them.  Poverty is real.  But rarely do we hear about the stories of people who live this way.  We don’t hear much of their lives, and issues concerning them.  And thus poverty continues.

 

When I decided to take this trip, I knew one of the reasons was because I wanted to observe how other people around the world live.  My soul felt compelled to explore life in a world beyond my own.  And I certainly have seen and felt more than I ever thought I would.  And I’m thankful for that.  But as I sit and think about the people who live in this new world that I’ve been exposed to (that has existed all along), my mind of course wonders what am I to do as a result.

 

What can I do?  How can I create change?  How can I make life better?  I don’t know the answer.  I’m not sure what, if anything I should be doing differently.  Its hard for me to know that people are living this way, and not want better for them.  I want everyone to live a blessed life.  So what should I do?  How can I be a part of the solution?  Acknowledge them? Pray for them?  Give to them?  Pay attention to the issues concerning them?  Give voice to them?  Spend time with them?  Or maybe I should just see them.  I don’t know.  At the very least, I can do my part to leave every person I encounter a little better than the way I found them.  And that can be as simple as having a conversation, offering a smile, finding out what their story is, or even more involved by volunteering time or investing in the(ir) local economy.

 

I’m not sure what Anil’s story is.  Does he have a family?  Where does he live?  Does he live well?  Is he struggling?  Is he happy?  All I know is, on that day last week, at the end of about four hours, my friends and I were able to put a big smile on his face with 300 rupees.  I’m not sure how much of a difference it made.  But as I think about the smile I saw on his face, I realize that those 300 rupees probably had an even bigger impact on me than it did on Anil.

 

I’m not really sure what the 300 rupees means to Anil’s day to day life, but for me it represents a life that is changed.  My own.  Because I now have a much broader view of what life is like for so many who share this world with me.  I’m not sure what the result of this broader view will be.  But I do know I’m interested in seeing many  more smiles.

Filed Under: Extraordinary Life, Make a difference, The Real YOu Tagged With: , ,

Clearly, He’s got this

January 13, 2013 By 2 Comments

It was day six in Kenya.  I was dusty and dirty as I sat in the back of the van driving along the bumpy dirt road.  In the last few days I had done a lot of what I considered roughing it.  I had taken several cold showers, spent days without a mirror, and had even used the restroom behind a big bush because I wasn’t sure how long it would be before I would get to a bathroom, and I just couldn’t hold it any longer.

 

As I surveyed my surroundings, I thought about my life and again started asking myself some familiar questions.  What am I doing?  Where am I going?  Who am I?  And given what I had seen and experienced over the past week, I added in some new questions.  How did I get here?  Is this going to be my new way of life?  What is the purpose in all of this?

 

Its been a little over six months since everything really changed for me.  I had achieved the American Dream, minus the husband and kids (still waiting to come together with Mr. Right at the right time).  I had a great career, a house in the suburbs, a nice car, money in the bank, and yet it wasn’t enough.  The life I had spent years working for did not fit me.  It was good, but I needed more.  So I decided good wasn’t good enough, and I made a number of changes in pursuit of a great life.  I quit my job, started my own business, sold my big house, and bought a small condo in the city.  Through it all, I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching, and reevaluating how I really feel about just about everything.  All this change hasn’t been easy, but I’m certainly better for it.

 

While I was busy living the American Dream, I had gotten used to “the good life”.  Money wasn’t an issue, and I was accustomed to nice things.  But over the last week especially, as I’ve been living in conditions that are very very very different from what I’m used to, I’ve just felt blessed, and only further realized how little I really need to make me happy.  But really, what am I doing?  Who have I become?  What’s next?

 

Even with all the good that has come out of my new take on life, over the past few months I’ve found myself a bit frustrated because I’m not really sure where I’m going.  I just know I’m on a journey.  I have a vision for things that I want to do and the way I would like to live my life, but in this new phase I am very aware that so much is still unclear.  After spending much of my life knowing exactly what I’m working toward, and having lot’s of stability as I work toward my goals, its been a process learning to get comfortable with not knowing what’s next.

 

Sunset in Maasai Mara

Sunset in Maasai Mara

So as I stared out the window, in awe of all the magnificence and beauty that I was viewing around me, I realized that its ok to not know where I’m going, or even how or when I’m going to get there.  As I looked at God’s creation, I recognized how wonderful and perfect it was.  God created it all by Himself, without any help from me.  He knew how He wanted everything to function, where He wanted things placed, and how everything was supposed to work together.  And His creations are nothing short of amazing.  I was reminded of that this week.  And as it relates to my life, He’s brought me this far, and led me in this new direction.  Clearly, He’s got this.  I think its time I stop fretting, and just go with the flow.  God knows what He’s doing.  He’s proven it to me over and over again.  All I have to do is look around to see the evidence.  Now its time to relinquish my need to feel like I’m in control, and just let Him lead me fully where He wants to take me.  He’s got this.  Clearly.  I only need to do my part, and enjoy the journey (and the views along the way ain’t half bad!).

View of Lake Victoria from Muhuru Bay

View of Lake Victoria from Muhuru Bay

Rainbow after heavy rainstorm in Muhuru Bay

Rainbow after heavy rainstorm in Muhuru Bay

Rift Valley

Rift Valley

Blue skies over Maasai Mara

Blue skies over Maasai Mara

 

 

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In Dagang, they saw me

January 6, 2013 By Leave a Comment

As I walked around the small town of Dagang in the Jiangsu province of China, I couldn’t help but notice that I was being watched.  It was my fifth day in China and my first day in Dagang.  The toils of travel had begun to wear on me.  I’d been having a great time, but thus far hadn’t been able to sleep for more than four hours a night.  I was extremely tired, I was cold, and I looked awful, so I was in a bit of a funk as I set out to roam the streets of the town.

 

Me and a cute little girl at lunch

The more people I passed by, the more I noticed people noticing me.  On the streets, in the store, in the restaurant, wherever I went people were staring at me.  When one saw me, they’d tap the person next to them so they could look too.  I’m no rockstar, but I wondered if this is what it felt like to be one.  I know the reason I was drawing so much attention was because I was a foreigner, and in such a small town they don’t often see people who look like me during their daily routine.  As the residents looked at me, I would smile, wave, and say “ni hao.”  The reactions filled with glee instantly touched my heart.  I was no longer in the funk that I had found myself in earlier.  Throughout the next few days, similar scenarios played themselves out to varying degrees.  I took pictures with some, let others touch my hair, and just enjoyed being able to somehow brighten someone’s day simply by acknowledging them, and indulging their curiosity.

 

With some lovely ladies at the local RT Mart shopping center

As I sat in the airport preparing to leave China, I found myself thinking about how much I enjoyed my time in that peaceful little town filled with parks, a few lakes, and people who dance in the streets at night (if only it were warmer, I would have joined right in with them!).  I spent time with and met some lovely people, and generally felt a sense of peacefulness while there that I didn’t expect to.  And then I began to cry.  There in the airport, I realized why I was so moved by the reactions of people to me in Dagang.  They saw me.  And I liked it.

 

Confession.  I’ve gone through much of my life feeling invisible.  I work hard, I often do what I’m supposed to do, and most of the time I’ve felt unnoticed, and from time to time unappreciated.  I don’t think I’ve ever craved being the center of attention, but I knew there had to be a few degrees in between center of attention and invisible that I could find my self in.

 

Over time, as I continued along feeling invisible, I suppose I got comfortable with it.  Not that I was in hiding or running away from the spotlight, I just got used to not being noticed.  At some of my not so great points, I even shied away from being noticed out of fear of what people would think of me.  What if they didn’t like what they saw, or the person I was once they got to know me? (don’t worry – I’m over those feelings now).  I got used to and enjoyed my own company.  There’s nothing wrong enjoying time alone, but the reality is that we need people.  And people need us.  And for us to fulfill whatever needs we have for each other, we have to first see each other.

 

I’ve been going through the book A Course in Miracles as a part of my spiritual walk, one of the lessons I recently went over was to focus my mind on the thought that “my only function in this world is to be the light.”  Generally, I try to bring sunshine everywhere I go, but as I think about this thought in relation to my feelings of “invisibleness,” I realize how silly it was for me to have ever felt that way.  It was nothing more than a projection of my own feelings of inadequacy outward, when instead I should have been focusing my efforts on being the person I was created to be.  If I’m focused on shining my light, wherever I go, and in every situation, it is impossible to feel “invisible.”

 

With a group that came and sat down to “chat” with me at lunch

Now let’s be clear.  I’m pretty awesome.  Well, at least I think am (took me a little while to get to this place).  And that’s all that really matters.  It is up to me to shine my light brightly wherever I go, no matter what response I get in return.  It is nice when others notice your light as well.  Some people are just waiting and need to see it to brighten their day.  The people of Dagang reminded me of that.  They saw me.  They brightened my day.  And I’m ever so thankful that they did.  Now it’s time for me to keep shining.

 

Filed Under: Extraordinary Life, Make a difference, Self love, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , ,

All things are possible, and I’m delighted to know that’s true!

December 3, 2012 By 4 Comments

Six years ago I found myself at a crossroads.  I had just gone through a major break-up, and was trying to figure out what I was supposed to be doing with my life.  That’s when the prompting to write a book first came about.  “Me, write a book?  Why would anyone want to hear what I have to say?” was my response.  But the voice grew louder and louder, until one day I couldn’t ignore it.  So I started writing.

Through much procrastination, hours upon hours of sitting in front of the computer staring at a blank page, followed by more procrastination, at the end of a year I finally had one complete chapter.

I kept plodding along, did a little less procrastinating and a lot more focusing.  And one day, I had a completed manuscript!  Yippee!  So now what?  I didn’t really know what to do next, and again found myself in a place of figuring out what I should be doing with my life.  So the manuscript that consumed three years of my life sat on the shelf.

Fast forward to the beginning of 2012.  I was fresh off of a fantastic vacation, that put so many things for me in perspective.  I had a clearer picture of my life’s purpose, and that meant going back to the manuscript that had been collecting dust on the bookshelf for two years.  And so I did.

So here I am, six years later.

After much procrastination.

After much grumbling about how much work needed to be done.

After all the sacrifice of time with family (I skipped going home one year for my favorite holiday, Thanksgiving in favor of a whole week of uninterrupted writing time).

After all the sacrifice of time with friends.

After all the writing and rewriting.

After all the anxiety.

After all the tears.

After all the work.

Today I can say, I am an author.  It is still a bit surreal for me to look at both my name and my picture on the book.  But its real.

Delight Inside

So here are the lessons for me from all of this:

All things are possible

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think of becoming an author.  But once I got hold of the vision that was placed in me, I made up my mind that I was going to do it.  No part of it was easy, and there were many, many, many times when I wanted to quit.  But I didn’t.  And now there is a book!

The good stuff is rarely built in a day

I was reminded very quickly during this process that writing isn’t easy.  And good writing is even harder!  As someone who wants things done when I want them, I often found myself frustrated at how long it took to get a product that I was pleased with.  But once I slowed down, embraced the process, and focused on producing something that would be of benefit to others, rather than spitting something out just so I could be finished – I was able to become comfortable with not focusing on the clock.

Success requires tradeoffs

Because there are only 24 hours in the day, there is only so much you can do.  And since I’m not the best multi-tasker, there were lot’s of things that I had to not do, so I could spend the needed time to write.  And as I got more focused about completing the book, I made even more trade-offs.  I stopped watching television.  I didn’t hang out very much.  I missed out on lot’s of fun stuff.  And even though making those trade-offs wasn’t easy or the most fun – I’m pleased that I now have something to show for it.  And now I’m getting back to the fun stuff!

Today I’d like you to know that dreams come true.  Often they don’t come without work.  They don’t come without trade-offs.  And they don’t always manifest when you want them to.  But if you persist, and continue to work the plan you’ve set out to accomplish your goal, you will get there.  I am a witness.

My book Delight Inside is currently available on Amazon.com and as an ebook on Kindle, and Nook.

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Because sometimes I can be a little irrational…

October 4, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Last year was an emotionally trying one.  I had many a meltdown, but ultimately I finished the year stronger and happier.  A few  days ago, I was thinking about last year, and realized how necessary the experiences of 2011 were for me to have the 2012 that I’ve been having.  Thus far, 2012 has been a year filled with transformation and change (more about that later).  All good stuff, and I am thankful.  But with the twists and turns of 2011, came many irrational moments.  Thank goodness, for a more rational voice that often came to pull me out of my mess.  Below is the result of that more rational voice.  If you ever find yourself in an irrational moment, I hope that maybe one of these will pull you out of that mess.

Dear Me (best viewed by first saving file, and then viewing saved file in full screen mode)

Illustrated by Marie Morrison

Filed Under: Extraordinary Life, Self love, The Real YOu Tagged With: , ,

Dear Me: I love you

June 19, 2012 By 6 Comments

Dear Me:  I love you.

I do.

I know I haven’t always loved you like I should.  I’m sorry for that.  Somehow during the course of life, I lost my way.  And lost some of you in the process.

I got caught up doing all the things that I felt I was supposed to do.  Not necessarily the things that were best for you.

  • I got a good job
  • I worked hard (not necessarily smart)
  • I bought a house in the suburbs
  • I was sometimes a little careless with your heart
  • I often put a smile on and went along with too many things that didn’t make you happy, for the sake of helping keep others happy
  • I often didn’t do the things that did make you happy, because I cared more about what other people thought
  • I didn’t always take care of you as best I could physically, because I was off doing other “important” things
  • I didn’t always take care of you as best I could spiritually, because I was off doing other “important” things
  • I didn’t always spend the time that I wanted with people I love, because I was off doing other “important” things
  • I focused on your dreams part time instead of going after them to make them a reality
  • I continued to try and climb the corporate ladder long after realizing I was on the wrong ladder
  • I let fear hold me hostage (and because of that, you took way too much crap)

And then I realized that I didn’t really recognize who I had become.  I was living “the good life.”  But it wasn’t the life I was supposed to live.  It was the good life for someone else.  But not for me.

Then I (re)discovered you.  Thank God I did!

I (re)discovered how awesome you are.
I (re)discovered how much you rock.
And I remembered how much I love you, and how much I want you to live the life extraordinary life you were meant to live.

Of course, demonstrating my love has forced me to make some changes with regard to how I treat you.

I hope you can tell, I’ve made lot’s of progress of late:

  • I started working out a lot more
  • I eat better
  • I’ve been doing the things I’ve always wanted to do
  • I learned to chill out
  • I’m growing spiritually
  • I’m spending more time with people I care about
  • I’m spending more time with you
  • I quit my full time job, to start doing the work I’ve long dreamed of doing full time
  • I realized that I should only give my heart to the one who will know what to do with it
  • I’m traveling more
  • I’m dancing more
  • I’m learning more
  • I’m embracing my inner protester
  • I’m learning to be fearless
  • I’m living more
  • I’m loving more
  • I’m loving you more

I still need to work on that suburban thing though.  In due time!

I know I haven’t always loved you the way that I should.  But I want you to know things are different now.  I ditched the old masked me, and started being the real me.

I love you.  I do.  And from this day forward I pledge to show you each day just how much.  Now let’s dance (90′s style).

Filed Under: Extraordinary Life, Self love, The Real YOu Tagged With: , ,

What is the point of it all?

March 6, 2012 By 4 Comments

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the meaning of life.  Why am I here?  In fact, why are any of us here?

 

It is so easy to get caught up in life.  And as I was going from day to day going through the motions of life, I found myself frequently wondering what the point of everything was.  As we progress through life, it seems that everyone is doing the same things:  working, acquiring, having fun, starting families.  But are these really the point?  Are these the things we were put on Earth to do?

 

As I continued to contemplate the question, “why am I here” I’ve really been trying to simplify things.  It seems like everything is so complicated.  And the more I thought about it, the more I came to the conclusion that the answer to everything can be found in one simple four letter word.

 

Love.

 

That’s what life is about.  At least in my world.

 

The more I tried to figure things out, the simpler the answer seemed to be.  Love.

 

Love my Creator

Love myself

Love others

 

In that order.  Of course, love in action manifests itself in many ways.  Love for me may look different than love for you.  But that’s the beauty of it.  And when I am really, really, really honest with myself, I start to see very clearly the places where love abounds and the places where it does not.  Of course, once I identify the places where love isn’t central, love then compels me to make a change (and that isn’t always fun – maybe that’s why introspection is often avoided?).

 

Life isn’t easy.  But maybe that’s because love isn’t always easy.  But love makes everything better.  It makes everything have more meaning.  It makes every activity make sense.  It make life more fulfilled.  Love gives life purpose.  Love gives life direction.  Love is the reason why I am here.

 

So now it is time to live in love.  And to stop all the stuff that isn’t.

Love is the answer.

 

What is the meaning of life for you?

Filed Under: Extraordinary Life, Make a difference, Self love, The Real YOu Tagged With: , , ,

What are you willing to die for?

February 2, 2012 By 2 Comments
“I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.” – Nelson Mandela
 
On a recent trip to South Africa, I came across this quote from Nelson Mandela while visiting the Apartheid Museum.  It struck a chord with me.  Nelson Mandela didn’t die for the ideal he referred to in the statement.  He did however spend  27 years in prison for fighting for it.  
 
 
While in South Africa I also visited the Hector Pieterson Museum in Soweto.  The museum commemorates the Soweto Uprising in 1976 in which thousands of students protested a new law that was forcing them use Afrikaans and English as a language of instruction.  While the protests were meant to be peaceful, 176 were killed when police began shooting (at students) to break up the protest.  These students were standing up for what was right.  They were standing up for their education.  I imagine that those who were killed didn’t know that this issue was one they would die for.  
 
So as I sat in a country that is riddled with history of numerous people who were willing to die, go to jail, protest, speak up, whatever for what they felt was right (ending the oppressive government they had lived under for so long), I couldn’t help but be reminded of the many people throughout history in various different places who have done the same thing.  When people stand up for what they feel is right – things change.  It may not happen immediately.  Those who stand up may not reap the benefits of their fight in their lifetime, but their voice was heard.  Their voice mattered.
 
As we celebrate Black History Month, I can’t help but think about all those who stood up along the way.  Names like Harriet Tubman, Martin Luther King Jr., and Nelson Mandela are known by many.  But there are countless numbers of others who aren’t so known.  Some died.  Some were jailed.  Some beaten.  But they stood up anyway.  They stood up for what is right.  They stood up because sitting down and being quiet was more painful than anything that anyones else could have done to them.   They stood up – and I reap the benefits today because they did.  And I am thankful.
 
So in this day, when things seem to be much better than in times of those who have come before us, I have to ask you – is there any ideal in which you are prepared to die if needs be?
 
While things are better than they were before – there are still many, many, many issues and challenges in the world.  There are still so many things to stand up for.  There is still so much farther to go to achieve the dream that many dreamers before us spoke of.  So pick your issue:
 
Politics and government
Women’s Rights
Education
Healthcare
Poverty
Unemployment
Access to healthy foods
Finding cures
Ending hunger
Ending wars
Children’s rights
Animal rights
Insert your issue here ________.
 
The list of things to stand up for is long.
 
So what are you willing to die for?
Not willing to die?  Ok, what are you willing to go to jail for?
Not willing to go to jail?  Ok, well what are you willing to get beaten for?
Not willing to get beat?  Ok, well, what are you willing to protest for?
Not willing to protest?  Sigh, ok well what are you willing to speak up for?
What issue are you willing to put yourself in a potentially uncomfortable situation for?
 
There’s got to be something.  Because when a day comes when we aren’t willing to be uncomfortable or to speak up when we see some injustice happening in the world – even if it is just for one person, is a day when we become accomplices in perpetuating the problem.  And then things don’t get better (they likely get worse).
 
We’ve come a long way.  And there is so much farther to go.  Let’s stand up, and get to where we need to go as people together.  Let your voice be heard.  It matters.  
Filed Under: Make a difference, The Real YOu Tagged With: ,
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